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I mentioned that the guy was actually me and what he heard in the morning was not sex. He continued to laugh hysterically and reposted that the mystery was solved. I tried to change my routine, or at least tried to control my volume for a little bit after that. I later learned my aunt and uncle slept in my bed, and I had completely forgot to move the stuff from under my pillow. So, I got out American Pie and flipped to the scene where the main guy humped the pie.